Keeping it real

GirlDad to a 10-year old daughter
The journey through fatherhood to my little angel has been great.

The first time I discovered I was going to be a father was a moment that I welcomed with both
happiness and anxiety. Regular visits to the doctors for check-ups with the Mum became the order of
the day. I was certain that I did not want to know the sex of the baby. My wife thought differently but
we agreed that if she found out she would keep it to herself. I was content with the fact that the
ultrasound showed the little angel growing every day.
My wife could not keep the secret and I eventually discovered it would be a girl. My wish had been
realized. During my wife’s pregnancy, we watched a particular Nigerian series regularly and a certain
name seemed to have a ring to it that we both really loved. The name also denoted a first born. The
foetus got a name!

On one occasion we had a scare; we thought we would lose our angel. It was one hell of a traumatic
moment and it necessitated extended bed rest for my wife.

I had planned to go for prenatal classes so as to be there at the delivery room. Our doctor, however,
discouraged me. He and his wife are both gynaes and he wasn’t in the delivery room when his children
were born. I was convinced.

The penultimate test for me was the delivery day. I remember it was a Saturday. Prior to this, the doctor
had warned us that the baby may come earlier. We were advised to check into the hospital on our due
date. That’s exactly what we did and my wife’s labour was induced. I slept on the hospital couch with my
wife that night. She was in pain the whole night.
In the morning I left the hospital more out of boredom than anything else. This process seemed too long
and uneventful. I found myself in Westlands and bought myself a camcorder for 100k. Why? I don’t
know. I also bought myself a Tusker to cool down.
At 4pm when I got back to the hospital, my wife had gone into real labor and it was clear that the baby
was soon going to be here. I started having a discussion with the nurse and we agreed that I did not
want to be in the delivery room. Suddenly we were wheeling my wife to the delivery room and she
assured me that once we were there that she would allow me to leave the room.

As soon as we entered the delivery room, everything moved really fast; my wife clung to me and time
just froze. The process was very fast and out came my little angel with a cry. I fell in love with her there
and then. Where was my camcorder? I did not need it. My brain captured every single detail that I will
live with for the rest of my life.

6th June 2010, 6pm!

Colic, exchanging maids and being called from the bar to rush to the hospital became the order of the
day. My friends welcomed me to fatherhood with drinks for almost 6 months….oops I’m only supposed
to talk about fatherhood, but heck that is a great part of new fatherhood.

I took my angel to school at 18 months, and she was in class with two other children. Dropping her to
school and picking her daily was a joy for me. Occasional ice-cream dates after school made our days.
Time flies and I learn daily as a father. Sometimes music is her thing, next it’s dancing. I am forced into a
routine. She reads her books to me. It is excellent!
There is fear sometimes, like when I’m watching her ride a horse and the horse starts to gallop. I almost
faint almost every time! Watching her swim in the deep end is scary. Her first sleep over without us, her
first school trip, which was for 2 days, left the house empty. No sound of a keyboard. But you learn on
the job and the journey is great.

She is now in junior school and once while driving her to school she commented:
“The grade fives have bad language.”
This piqued my curiosity and I asked, “What do they say?”
Bad words like “What the hell.”
In my head I was like “not bad“, as I continued concentrating on the road
She paused and said, “Sometimes they say what the f**k.”
I turned to look at her and almost crashed the car ahead.
The journey of fatherhood continues…..

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2 years ago

Cheers to dads who form real relationships with their daughters

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